Hello my dear friends,
Well, it’s been one of those days, in fact the past few days have been exactly the same…nothing seems to be going right and every form of technology known to man seems to be against me too…You all know I live and work in China right? Well, it’s not always easy here because of the restrictions to internet, we cannot get onto WordPress, Facebook, Twitter or any other form of social media due to Gov restrictions and firewalls blocking their use from China. There are work arounds using VPN’s but they are so painful and slow to use that it is often quicker for me to hand write my posts and physically walk them around the world and post them personally through your mailboxes š
All joking aside, these issues do unfortunately play on your mind, in other parts of the world if you do not get an immediate response to your internet search then you will almost certainly move on to another site! Well; when posting one post to WordPress from here it could take me hours and many, many attempts! I guess these last few days have taken their toll on me physically and mentally, I’m weighed down with the pressures of getting software and hardware to do their job, lost all connections to emails and really challenged when trying to make a post, all these things have hit me hard, hard in my heart, Im always trying to help everyone, i’m well known here for the person to go to for support, for counselling, for help with anxiety, Psych issues, spiritual guidance and healing but it just dawned on me, ‘Where Do We Go For Help’!
This is so unlike me, my mind is messed up, I try maybe too hard to help everyone selflessly; ‘always’, and often to the detriment of my own health.
I have been loosing my way these past few days, doubting my own spiritual journey, questioning my pathway and questioning my future..I need to come back inside and re-connect with my own happiness, I know I have to re-connect or I will perish from the outside in!
Love to you all
Always
Mark
Endless Light and Love 
You know as well as anyone Mark, we have to help ourself first, otherwise it just doesn’t work… wishing you find yourself a quiet safe space in which to re-charge and get back on track, being the example of living and creating our dream… Take care, Barbara
Thank you Barbara š
Today is a new day and I’m blessed with so many friends like you. I spent the evening reading through kind words of comfort, just being with my lovely wife and playing with our two new puppy’s, these helped release my tension and clear my ego, i slept well, woke early and have a smile on my face this morning, i know I have been comforted by angels through the night and their whispers have healed my darkness.
Thank you for your support, as always š
Namaste
Mark
Hi Mark.. so glad you are feeling more comfortable… I wanted to say that I too am being challenged with my own darkness at times… it is surely a time for each of us to finally bring back all our broken and hurt parts from all of our yesterdays and welcome them back in this physical reality… allowing them to transmute into our new potential… Barbara x
Thanks Barbara, the light shines all around you, i can feel it here today š
Namaste
Mark
I’m touched how you’re taking refuge in us, your sangha. Also, in noticing the sangha is alive and here in, around, and for all of us.
_/\_ Vincent, it’s always nice to know we are building a sangha of wonderful, like minded people who care about each other and our planet š
Namaste
Mark
Dear Mark,
The first and hardest part is done – you have allowed your innermost self to be seen and as uncomfortable ad the venerability can be, know that many people are touched by your giving spirit and are sending love and peace to you. Always my dear friend.
Blessings. Susan ā¤
My dearest Susan, as always, thank you for your blessings and words of comfort š
Namaste
Mark
By your posting this, you are reaching out, and that is good. Don’t close up, keep reaching. As you can see, there are people who care. And we do not always know that. So I will add my Blessings to you today, and wishes that you pass through this back into happy and content. May I suggest (if you don’t already) listening to some cd’s of nature sounds, or oceans sounds, birds and wind and so forth, in headphones while you are at the computer. It not only helps keep you calm, but it reminds you that Mother Nature is watching over you…and you are part of that Nature. Wishing you well and Blessings!
My dear friend, thank you for you kind words of comfort and the suggestions of getting back to nature, I will certainly do that today. I will meditate with the sounds of water and the wind blowing throughout the bamboo forest, connect inward and find my inner peace š
Namaste to you Always
Mark
And to you! Hope you have a better day…a lovely one! Blessings!
This sort is energy depletion seems to creep up on us and before we know it we are sick and tired and bewildered. Go back to your source and replenish yourself. Take care.
Hi Susan,
Thank you for your message and suggestion of connecting back to source to replenish my energy š I will, I promise š I have gained strength from all my wonderful friends and vow to continue my work with replenished energy and conviction š
Namaste
Mark
Dear Mark,
It is said that to fall in love you must become vulnerable and with great courage you have shown the world your vulnerability because I know you love us, you love your family and your work. But starting from: you are where you are meant to be, remember as has been said that these things are sent to try us and they will if we let them! I think you are forgetting the most important person in your Universe and that, as I am sure you know, is you. Nothing is ever finished and as my Angels constantly tell me: RELAX. Remember also Mark that we love you and in the quiet feel the love and the blessings that are coming your way from us all including our Angelic helpers. Love, David
My dear David,
Your eloquent words on their own heal me and your blessings and angelic helpers inspire me to be ever stronger and more energetic to move forward along my spiritual pathway.
Thank you my friend
Love to you ‘Always’
Mark
Mark,
it is great that someone like you who has the answers to people’s problems is also able to share that you are struggling. Very moving. It takes a lot of strength to be that open and vulnerable with the world! And I did not know you lived in China and faced all these IT challenges – your efforts to maintain your blog are therefore even more admirable, IMO.
In my role as a leader supporting 80 local people as part of a Buddhist movement (Soka Gakkai International), I sometimes feel overwhelmed and down. To address your question, when I need help, I reach out to a fellow SGI member for support, someone who will listen with their heart and encourage me. Or just listen and say very little at all. This is very sustaining and nourishing. For both of us. As is my daily chanting of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, which is the life force of the whole universe.
Through my Buddhist practice I have also realised that it is really important to feel messed up sometimes. How, after all, can you really fight for the happiness of other human beings if you are not battling with your own demons? And Nichiren Daishonin, the Buddha whose teachings I follow, wrote: “Even sages are sometimes sad.”
Finally, it is impossible to keep giving to others if you neglect to give to yourself. Take a look at no. 9 in the list on this link and see if you recognise yourself at all: http://www.sgi-uk.org/buddhism/buddhist-concepts/ten-worlds
Take care, that includes looking after you!
David š
Thanks so much David, Im receiving your loving wishes too and they are certainly welcomed with open arms and a open heart, I too will chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo and take some time this evening to meditate and take strength from within.
Namaste with Love
Mark
Yes David, no 9, is where I’m at right now, certainly neglecting my own self and body š¦ I will put that right š
Namaste
Mark
Sounds like you need to have a break to recharge your batteries. If you can’t get out of the smog into nature then take a break within. Connect with the inner stillness until you feel refreshed. That would be my advice.
Take care of yourself.
I certainly do Sarah, Ive been here for a long long time now and its difficult to get away from the constant noise, the pollution and the crazy rat race outside but I will take time this evening to meditate and take comfort from within.
Namaste
Mark
Peace to you. š
It sounds really challenging working like that Mark. You must become exhausted! Are you making sure that you also let other people help you? I mean are you good at asking for support and love from others? Sometimes when we just give and give we forget that we also need to receive. I hope you are taking care of yourself and seeking love and comfort for yourself. I will send you some angels to restore your faith and spiritual well-being š Lots of Love and Blessings to you!
Im in tears Line just reading your lovely reply, no; in short I don’t ask for help and have never been uses to receiving love in return. I know I need it, especially right now so thank you for the Angels, they will i’m sure help me get through this crossroad in my life š
Namaste
With love
Mark
My Angels are so full of love I am sure you will feel them, just be aware of a feminine motherly Love enevloping you in her arms. Reach out Mark, and if you need someone to support you, just ask for it and remain open to receive, I just know someone somehow will come into your life and give you exactly what you need š Don’t be scared to receive, it is like giving someone else a gift! š Because it is a gift to make a difference in someone’s life š I am sending you all my Love, Healing thoughts, and prayers! š
Im overwhelmed with the feeling of love right now my friend, that the tears are just flooding down my cheeks, thank you for this loving kindness š And yes, I do feel the warmth of the wings around my shoulders right now and the gentleness of them comforting me in my time of need š