All posts tagged Human

Good Deeds

Published 26/03/2013 by inspiringyourspirit


What is a ‘Good Deed’? And should we do them or even need to do them?

Well, I guess that depends on what you deem as a good deed! In my mind a ‘Good Deed’ is something you do for someone else without any question as to why and without any need for a response, for thanks or for any form of repayment for that deed. It is a free service if you will, a no questions asked deed given freely from your heart and your very soul.


I remember my dear mother telling us when we were young to go out and do some good deeds for our neighbors, especially our elderly neighbors, like; go to the shops for them, mow their lawns, tidy their flower beds, clean their car, wash their windows, walk their dog, simple little tasks that made us understand the simple values of life, of being neighborly and how to communicate with others. But, how far does a good deed go before repayment in some shape or form comes around?

This also brings me back to my earlier question, ‘What is a Good Deed’?

If I see someone begging on the street, do I give him or her some money? Is that a good deed or am I giving them the money to give to someone else who is forcing them on the streets to beg for cash, or is that good deed giving them the cash to go and buy drugs or alcohol!

If I see someone fall on the street, should I stop to help them up, offer them a helping hand or will my act of kindness lead to them to blame me or allege I pushed them down in the first place!
If I see someone being accosted or robbed on the street should I intervene and offer support towards the victim or will that good deed get me in trouble and then become the one who is attacked and maybe even injured or killed!

Years ago, we would have not thought twice over doing any one of these good deeds for our fellow human beings, the problems lie with our society as it is now and how it has evolved! The worries of legal action has stopped us from becoming involved, we now turn a blind eye to our fellow humans because of the fear of legal action. We turn a blind eye if we see someone being attacked because of our fear of being hurt or injured.

The Internet and media are full of stories and videos of this nature and I’m sure we see them with our own eyes each and everyday. I know I have and each time it saddens me.

I have experienced accidents here in China where people have been lying in the street badly injured from being knocked off their bicycle but people don’t stop, they just look and walk right on by, cars and trucks just move on by and no one wants to be involved due to the worry of being implicated with the accident and held responsible for the medical costs!
I have personally been beaten on the streets by thugs for helping an innocent victim and people just walked on by while I was receiving a beating!
I have seen a lady being robbed of her cell phone in the middle of the day on a busy pedestrian street and whilst she was screaming and being kicked and punched by her male attacker, people all around her just walked right on by until the robber gave up, took the phone an just wandered away into the crowd!

I could go on and on, but it takes me back again to my question. ‘What is a Good Deed, and should we still do them?

Did you know there is a Good Deeds Organisation on the Internet?

I would love to know your thoughts and for you to share your experiences.


Feeling the Hurt: The Disconnected Self

Published 04/03/2013 by inspiringyourspirit


The disconnected self. We all may feel this way, at least on occasion.

The sensation exists that we are beings separated from each other by space, time, or material construction. We will categorize and classify these differences and even exploit them if it suits us. However, as different as we may be, we also cannot deny our connections and similarities.

To truly understand and feel the hurt that we and others experience, we rely on our empathic skills. The word “compassion” itself means having sympathy for the suffering of others. It is no stretch of the imagination to know that people do suffer in the world. There are many kinds of trauma–physical, emotional, and psychological–that so many of us endure.

We have had the pain, terror, and horrors of war for about as long as humans have been around. The natural world itself is full of the struggle to survive under the most basic of circumstances. There is the expression, “It is a dog-eat-dog world out there.” We must understand the hurt, pain and suffering we have before we can try to help make things better.

We are, indeed, fortunate if we have someone with whom we can talk about these matters. For many people who follow certain religions, they turn to church leaders to get them through difficult times, such as when there is a death or serious illness in the family. Laypersons have counselors, mentors, and other healers–trained people who will coach us through hard times. They help us see the possibilities; they listen to our troubles, and help us take the right steps back on the positive side of things.

Compassion is not only a skill of those trained to work in those kinds of situations. It is something any of us may choose to do, because if we are honest with ourselves, we know there is a lot of pain and suffering out there, and we often cannot alleviate the pain alone. It is a positive action to be concerned about doing something to make the pain more bearable.

Some will advise that it is best to not look at the difficulties or look upon a particular horror directly, feeling it is a waste of time or counter-productive. Yet, look at the many appeals for help we see televised or that come to us on the internet these days. They can be rather graphic and show some of the real struggles of the young and old alike. We cannot deny the things that present themselves to us.

Eagerness to go out and work on eliminating them actively calls to each of us in different ways. There are people who see very little benefit in talking the problem over first, or realizing that they are not the first or only people who have suffered in this particular way or with this certain problem. Avoidance and fear do not help, clearly.

However, before we can know how much attention to place or how much work will be involved in maintaining a healthy attitude, we must first really see, know, and understand the extent of the problem, how deep it goes, how long it is been around, etc. In order to know how best to apply our energy or work on some sort of action plan, it is best to have a goal.

The goal of compassion is to alleviate suffering. This basic understanding is what a compassionate person knows from the very beginning. How to go about doing that is something unique to each situation, which is why it pays to look before we leap, so to speak. We may not be equipped to handle every case of suffering that crosses our path in life. We may feel best suited to help where and when we can, knowing that we cannot handle it all, or there are just some circumstances or situations that are beyond our capabilities.

This brings us back around to the concept that we are individuals, all having separate experiences. There can be some rather significant obstacles to overcome, when it comes to helping others, such as time and distance. When we see a situation in some far-off, war-torn land, we might wish we could be there to help in some way to care for the orphans or the sick and injured. More directly, there may be nothing more helpless than the feeling when a loved one is hurt or injured in some place where we cannot reach them or be with them in times of strife.

While it may be true that we all have our own unique perspective on our human lives, together we can create and accomplish great things. Compassion is one act that we can choose to do–one that will help others as we help ourselves to get beyond the pain and negativity that can hold us down. Together we rise, if that is our choice, and we are willing to do the work involved.

This is when we can actively choose to lessen the obstacles of time and space. Realistically, we may not be able to travel at a moment’s notice halfway around the world, but we can hold compassionate attention and cohesive energy to aid persons who need the spiritual support we can provide. We can work on making the steps happen to get there in person while we keep in touch with the suffering that exists.

Nobody says life is easy. It may not lessen the huge problems that negativity brings to the existence of the human struggle, but each little act of compassion and support we give each other sure does knock down the negativity and other obstacles bit by bit. To say we have done our one small part to make things better is something each of us can do–and it is up to us to do it.

Choose and act accordingly–there is great power in that.

Article written by Kathy Custren




Published 05/02/2013 by inspiringyourspirit

A beautiful article about Negative Emotions, Hurt and Detachment by a dear blogging friend of mine from India Supriya.

Supriya’s blog can be found here

I hope you enjoy it as much as I?




Hello readers, many times in life we feel deeply hurt. Internal hurt is more painful than external hurt as no one able to see that the heart is crying and it will be more difficult if you are a sensitive person.
This question haunted me from a long time why something or someone hurt us so much? Why we feel pain in our heart? How can we able to cure this pain?
I asked people I tried to find its answer in book & everywhere. And the most common answer I get is “LOVE HURTS” as it said, “ Those who love us knows exactly where to hit to break the heart.” But frankly speaking, I didn’t find this answer helpful.
I always believe there must be some cure for this pain or hurt like we have medicines for body wounds.
So my today’s story is in search of that cure which heals our heart that feels hurt.



Life is miserable for Diya. She feels everyone holding a hammer in their hand and as soon as they get the chance they hit hard on her heart. Whom she considers her love ones also do this.. She desperately needs some help to over come from this otherwise she gets mad. She didn’t want any temporary solution of this problem as she did in the past. This time she wants the actual answer to her question “ It hurts…. But why? And what’s the solution. She tried everything she could but not able to find any satisfied answer.

One day while she was going to meet one of her friend she saw a pamphlet “ Tell me your question” and in the end there was an email-id. Diya thought its not a harm to try this one also. So she mailed to that Id and after a few days she got a reply.
“Come & meet me at the below mentioned address.”

She thought maybe it’s a kind of joke? But then she thought if she wants to find the answer she have to go and see what it’s all about. She went to the place.
It’s a park near the university where she met a lady near the age of 55 or so. The lady greeted her with a smile and introduced her as a professor who likes to do social work in her free time.

Diya feels little hesitated to tell her problem to a stranger.
The lady insures her that whatever she will share it just between two of them.
Diya said, “ Ok…. I want to know why I feel so much hurt in my heart…. And what can I do to cure it.”
The lady asked, “ When you feel hurt most?”
Diya said, “Many times”
The lady asked, “ What hurt you most?”
Diya said, “ So many things… like at my work my boss never appreciate my work and always try to humiliate me in front of others. My colleagues pass comment on me. My friends also hurt me many times when they lie to me. My husband & my kids also sometimes become the reason of my hurt that I love the most. You know to a mother seeing their children suffers is the most painful thing. My elder son met an accident last year and still he is not able to walk properly. Could you image how much it’s hurt me?”

The lady nodded.
“ But now enough is enough I am not able to tolerate this pain more.”
The lady listen her calmly and after a few minutes she just said two words.
“ Practice Detachment”

“ What … what do you mean by that? What you want me to do to renounce my family and career for your kind information I am a family woman not any saint.” Diya said in disbelief.
The lady said, “ Calm down I am just trying to help you, don’t take me in wrong way.”
Diya said, “ Ok”
Let first understand why anything or anyone hurt us
Diya nodded
The lady gave her a book and said, “ Hold it tight.”
Diya does it as said.
The lady hit the book hardly with a stick.
Diya dropped the book and shout, “ What are you trying to do? You almost hit me.’
The lady said, “ I am sorry but I am trying to hit the book not you.”
“ How foolish is that. I am holding the book if you hit it I also get hurt.” Diya said annoyingly.
The lady said, “ TRUE…. That’s my point. Its call attachment whenever we attach our self with something or someone we get hurt. Remember what Buddhists say..

“Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent”

Diya asked, “Can you explain it a little more I am not able to absorb it fully.”
The lady nodded

Now I explain it taking those points which you told me in the beginning.
Suppose, you made a good report and when you go to show it to your boss you hope that your boss like it and you get promoted for your good work. But when your boss sees your work he gets angry and completely reject your report.
Now say how you will feel??
Diya replied, “ It’s hurt me?”

“Yes, you feel hurt because what you hoped didn’t happen.” Said the lady.
Diya asked, “ Do you mean I should not hope for good.”
The lady said, “I didn’t say that my point is hoping for good is not bad. The thing that hurt us is when we attach our self to the outcome and when the outcome doesn’t come the way we expected we feel hurt.”

“We are responsible for the effort not the outcomes.”

The second thing which hurt us is when someone ( especially those whom we consider our dear ones or friends) lie to us or said bad words to us. The thing that we should remember that time is…..

“Words only hurt when you allow yourself to believe them”

‘But how could that possible I know that they are doing wrong’ Diya protest.
‘True again but we are not talking here about right and wrong. Remember we have no control over others. People are free to say what they want. A lie or bad word said once but we keep them in our hearts & mind, and hurt our self by repeating the record again and again. Let them go and remember letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

“Pain will leave you, when you let go”

Now the crucial point, we feel hurt most when our love one suffers.
For this you have to image two situations.
In first situation you and your son are walking. Your right hand ties with your son’s left hand. Suddenly your son fall down and hurt him.
‘What will happen to you and what can you do in this situation?’ the lady asked
Diya replied, “ I will also fall with him as we both are tied together and it might happen that I also get hurt myself too.”

In the second situation when you and your son are walking but this time you and him are not tied together.
‘Now say what will happen to you and what will you do when you see your son get hurt?’
‘I pick him up and try to heal him’
‘Correct again’

In the first situation when our love ones going through pain we also go in pain as we are attached or say tie with them. That time when one needs someone strong to pick him or her up we choose to suffer with him or her. Its call attachment.

Diya asked in confusion, ‘ Wait… do you mean I should be emotion less and develop an attitude of I don’t care.’
Lady said, ‘No, absolutely not. We are human beings with emotions, we get connected with each other through these emotions not due to any biological reason. Due to emotions & feelings we are able to give love & show kindness toward everyone (it doesn’t matter we know them or not & its also not matter if its for human beings, animals or any non-living thing).

Emotions and feeling are like waves on a sea. See them, feel them and let them pass. Don’t allow yourself to cling to them otherwise those waves throw you out.

The second situation is an example of detachment. Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you able to leave it.
Being detached, you turn yourself in a person one who can love more deeply and care with compassion. Without detachment we always feel the fear. We are too busy being afraid. We are afraid of the pain. We are afraid of the grief. We are afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.
Most of the time we live our life with that thought this or that thing hurt me in the past so it might be hurt me in the future.

Wash yourself with emotions. It won’t hurt you. It will help you to understand everything more clearly and deeply. When we are able to recognize the emotion and detach our self from it then only we able to be more compassionate, caring & loving.

Diya nodded and said, “ I need to reflect what I just heard. It’s a new thing for me.”
The lady said, ‘ Hmm… You should and whenever you need a talk & clear your thoughts you are most welcome.”
Diya said, ‘ I will but before I leave I have a last question. Do you able to completely detach?’
Lady said, ‘I know pain, hurt, sadness, and loneliness little better. I lost my husband and only daughter in a terror attack.’ Her eyes get moist.
‘But I am still a student who practicing detachment on a regular basis. I start my day with the affirmation that Mahatma Gandhi once said, “ No one can hurt me without my permission”’

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