Together we can make a change to our world
Love Is The Answer My Friends
Namaste With Love
Always
Mark
Together we can make a change to our world
Love Is The Answer My Friends
Namaste With Love
Always
Mark
My Dear Friends,
Compassion, something that is always on my mind, am I compassionate enough, do I help people who are in need of my help and support, do I listen with Empathy (with the intent to really understand), do I go out of my way to do my best for the environment, for mother nature, for the people around me and for the long term good of our planet?
All good questions and ones in which I ask myself each and every day.
I came across this really interesting Nat Geo video re Compassion, it has some really cool observations, tests of compassion and pointers to watch out for in yourself and in others.
Please give it a few minutes of your busy day and think on the content…Are you compassionate?
Have a wonderful weekend full of love, happiness and compassion.
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
Souls are souls no matter what species they come from and it’s our responsibility as the ‘So Called’ most intelligent beings on earth to make sure we are all treated with respect and we save our endangered species from possible extinction!
Let’s start working together, brothers and sisters from all countries coming together for the sake of humanity
‘If Not’, we stand a very good chance of making the human race extinct too!
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
My Dear Friends,
I need your help!
Im looking for articles that I can translate into Chinese for use with my non-profit free of charge Chinese social media platform, articles that will help inspire future generations of young Chinese, articles on spirituality, the environment, nature, health, nutrition, happiness, care for others, meditation, stress management, love, relationships etc
Would you be willing to send me articles for consideration and translation? I cannot afford to pay you for these articles but I will give you credit in name and a link to your blog/website if the article/s are used.
China is growing so fast and its young are eager to read and grow their knowledge, please help me help them and together help make a better world for us all to live in.
Please reply by comment or send me a personal email.
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
Hello again my dear friends,
Here are some more pictures from my recent trip to France, this time I’m going spiritual with images from the Plouray Sangha in Brittany, His Holiness Gyalwang Drukpa whom I had the pleasure of meeting in France and a beautiful range of stained glass windows and wall paintings in some Catholic Churches in Brittany. I do hope you like them?
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
Lao Tzu always spoke of going with the flow of life, be like water and you will always find a way, and if you want to help awaken others then first understand yourself and awaken yourself. Learn the gifts of silence and listening as they are two of the greatest strengths for you to possess my friends and always remember to give to others from your heart, and you will reap benefits in return and lastly be thankful and grateful for all you have in your life, once you reach this understanding then you will realize that there is nothing lacking in your life and therefore nothing else matters, you will then be at peace with yourself and the world.
I will be traveling for the next few weeks but I will try to post as and when I can. Peace and Love to you all.
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
In my heart of hearts,
I no longer want to be
Better than you
Smarter than you
Thinner than you
Prettier than you
Faster than you
Stronger than you
More accomplished than you
More creative than you
A better mother than you
A better friend than you
Better educated than you
ANYTHING more than you.
I want to walk this path
Side by side
In awe of who you are
In awe of what your gifts are
To see you only in love and light
With your beauty shining through
Just as you are.
And I want you to see me the same way.
For I really do love you
Just as you are.
I only thought I had to be better
In order for you to love me.
I drop this cloak of outshining at the gate.
It has been such a heavy burden,
An unnecessary burden
A self imposed burden.
Will you still love me
Being just as I am.
In my heart of hearts,
I know you will.
~ Katy Stevenson Wirth
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
Inner Peace, Do you have it?
To be happy with yourself, to be at peace with yourself, your looks, your life and the life around you is sometimes difficult to achieve but you can do it, you can be at peace with yourself, you can be stress free and enjoy your life to the full, all it takes is to firstly make a decision to love yourself unconditionally, then start living in the ‘Now’, forget about the past, it’s gone and it can never come back, don’t waste your time thinking or worrying about tomorrow because thats a total waste of your ‘Now time’. Be thankful for all you have in your life, look around you and count your blessings, love the people close to you, hold out your hand to those in-need and start your life a new 🙂
Tomorrow is another day, so live today to the full and be at peace with yourself 🙂
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
My Dear Friends
I will join Deepak Chopra, India Arie, Gabrielle Bernstein and hopefully millions of other beautiful souls in a Global Meditation For Peace, this event will take place on the 8th August 2014 at 12 Noon EST so for me that is Midnight same day (approx 13 hours from now), I will be there to pledge my support in meditation and feel the positive peaceful energy that this mass global meditation will bring to our world.
Please go to http://globalmeditation.chopra.com to register, this will give you the specifics of the event, a countdown timer, a short video etc
Namaste with Love and Peace
Always
Mark
Most people would look at this picture and disagree because they cannot see any value in what the picture contains, but I see unconditional love and respect. And I thoroughly agree with the statement ‘The less you have the more you value it’.
We live in a material world when goods/products out value lives, when the throw away left overs from your meal cost more than these people on the streets have to survive on all month; and even more depending in which country they are from!
Human kindness takes a different turn when you have little, you see the goodness in the small things, you notice the sun shining, the warmness or the rain, the flowers blooming, the scent of freshly mown grass, and the genuine kindness and smiles of hope given to you by a passer by, in this image the man treasures his dog, his companion on his life journey and he will protect it and care for it unconditionally.
I look around me and see so many things, things i take for granted, things that make my life easier, computers, cell phones, printers, pens, paper, books, clothes, food, drinks, everything I could possibly want….but…., do they bring me happiness? No!…Happiness comes from within, I don’t need these things to make me happy and more of these things will not raise my levels of happiness, only I can do that. I often look and watch children playing, children with nothing, some of the poorest children around me, these children play on the streets with the simplest of toys that they pull together from scraps, pieces of string, the wheel of a cart, a box for them to sit in, but their smiles say it all, they live in the now, the swiftly fashioned toy takes them to somewhere else, and they live the dream. They don’t need more expensive toys to bring them happiness, because happiness is within!
I wish we could all see these children play, to watch their joy, their simple lives not yet effected by the media, the sales promotions that create ‘Want and Desire’, If only we could learn that ‘Happiness comes from Within’
Namaste with Love My Friends
Always
Mark
In a world where war is just a video game to some, it’s perhaps worth taking time to remember the true cost of war.
在当今世界,战争对于一些人来说只不过是视频游戏,而对于战争的真正代价可能会需要时间铭记在心。
This weekend saw the 100th anniversary of the start of World War I, which over 4 years, grew to claim the lives of over 9’000’000 (Yes thats 9 Million) service personnel from countries around the world. During WWI, across Europe, the flower of the red poppy became a symbol for remembering all those lost in War. As part of the commemorations this weekend in London, British artist Paul Cummings placed 888’246 ceramic flowers around the Tower of London – one flower for each soul lost from countries around what was then the British Empire.
刚过去的周末中我们见证了第一次世界大战爆发的100周年纪念日,在那4年里世界各国参战牺牲的总人数超过了9千万人。一战期间,在欧洲大陆的这片土地上,红色的罂粟花成为了战争中所有遗失祭奠的象征。在本周的伦敦为了纪念一战,英国艺术家保罗·卡明斯伦敦塔周围放置888’246陶瓷花 —一朵花象征着每一位在一战中为大英帝国所壮烈牺牲的灵魂。
Here are some images of the exhibition.
下方陈列一些相关图片
The poppy is a way of not forgetting the sacrifice of those who didn’t return home to their loved ones because of War and whilst we should never forget the price they paid, we should also look forward and remember that with a little more understanding, kindness and love for those of us who walk the Earth with us today, we could potentially have less need for more poppies in the future.
罂粟花一种用来祭奠那些在战中为国捐躯、壮烈牺牲的英魂,由于战争导致其无法回到所心爱的人身边,然而我们应该永远铭记所付出的代价,同时也应该向前看,记住对身边的每一位多一分理解,仁慈与关爱,我们可能对那些未来的英勇之士给予的太少。
It’s now 2014, 100 years on since the start of what they called “The Great War’, and I can still see no real progress, there have been over 260 major wars fought around the world since 1918 the end of World War 1 and they still rage on, mainly due to Religion or Greed by governments and corporations to control natural resources.
Now is the time to really step back and look at these pictures, every one of those red poppies represents a soldier killed in that 1 war alone, I wonder how many have fallen since? What would that picture look like and how far would the poppies go? A frightening thought my friends!………….Here is the reality of that frightening thought……….
Name of War ∨ ∧ Years ∨ ∧ Fatalities
Libyan Civil War 2011 – 2012 2,080
Syrian civil war 2011 – 2012 18,821
Yemen vs Al-Quaeda 2009 – 2012 3,811
Kivu Conflict 2006 – 2012 4,272
Mexican Drug War 2006 – 2012 83,000
Southern Lebanon War 2006 – 2006 1,003
Waziristan conflict 2004 – 2012 22,016
Iraqi Insurgency 2003 – 2012 23,461
Iraq vs US led coalition 2003 – 2003 8,202
Al Quaeda vs USA and allies 2001 – 2012 4,538
Afghanistan war 2001 – 2012 43,917
Civil War in Côte d Ivoire 2000 – 2005 1,471
Eritrea vs Ethiopia 1998 – 2000 98,192
Guinea Bissau Coup 1998 – 1999 1,700
Congo Brazzaville Civil War 1997 – 1999 15,540
Yugoslavia vs NATO Forces and UCK Guerilla 1997 – 1999 4,992
Nepal Civil War 1996 – 2006 12,284
First and Second Congo Wars 1996 – 2006 208,367
Russia vs Chechnyan Secessionists 1994 – 2007 20,381
North Yemen vs Secessionists 1994 – 1994 1,491
Tajikistan Govt vs Opposition 1992 – 1998 6,834
Bosnian Govt vs Serbian Insurgents 1992 – 1995 24,504
Iran vs rebel groups (MEK,PJAK etc) 1991 – 2011 3,200
Burundi Civil War 1991 – 2005 13,671
Sierra Leone Govt vs Rebels 1991 – 2002 12,034
Georgian Civil War 1991 – 1993 2,439
Croatia vs Serbian Irregulars, Rep. Krajina 1991 – 1992 1,749
Rwanda Civil War (Hutus vs Tutsis) 1990 – 2012 527,145
Somalia Civil War 1990 – 2012 37,236
Algeria Govt vs Islamic rebels, 1990 – 2005 18,348
First Gulf War 1990 – 1991 22,848
India vs Pakistan, Kashmir Dispute 1989 – 2012 24,253
Liberia Civil War 1989 – 2003 22,247
Indonesia Gvt vs Aceh Liberation movement 1989 – 2003 5,280
Nagorno-Karabakh War 1988 – 1994 4,623
South Yemen Coup 1986 – 1986 10,000
Indian Govt vs Punjab 1985 – 2000 7,247
Turkey Gov vs Kurdistan Guerilla (PPK) 1984 – 2012 33,990
Sudan Government vs Militias 1983 – 2012 68,769
Sri Lankan Govt vs Tamil Militants (LTTE) 1983 – 2009 62,313
Senegal Civil War 1982 – 2011 1,781
Iraq Government vs SCIRI 1982 – 2000 1,306
Falklands War 1982 – 1982 964
Nicaragua Govt vs Contras 1981 – 1990 30,000
Uganda Civil War 1980 – 2007 116,044
Peruvian Gvt vs Sendero Luminoso and MRTA 1980 – 1999 19,466
Iran vs Iraq 1980 – 1988 644,500
Iran vs Muhajedin e-Khalq 1979 – 2001 4,395
Cambodian Govt vs Khmer Rouge 1979 – 1998 84,950
Mozambique Govt vs Guerilla 1979 – 1992 115,600
El Salvador Gvt vs FMLN Guerrillas 1979 – 1992 55,000
Sino-Vietnamese War 1979 – 1988 48,223
Syrian Govt vs Muslim Brotherhood 1979 – 1982 2,075
Afghanistan Civil War 1978 – 2001 121,536
Rebels vs Ethiopian Government 1978 – 1991 52,398
Uganda vs Tanzania 1978 – 1979 4,000
Iranian Revolution 1978 – 1979 1,100
Vietnam vs Cambodia (Kampuchea) 1978 – 1979 32,500
Nicaraguan Gvt vs Sandinistas 1978 – 1979 10,000
Ethiopia vs Oromia rebels (OLF) 1977 – 2012 3,070
Chittagong Hill Tracts Conflict 1977 – 1997 1,152
Ethiopia vs Somalia 1977 – 1978 4,000
East Timorese Guerilla vs Indonesian Govt 1976 – 1999 75,150
Ethiopia vs Somali (Ogadeni) Rebels 1976 – 1983 3,839
Angolan Gvt vs UNITA Guerilla 1975 – 2000 157,400
Iraq vs Kurdistan (KDP/PUK) 1975 – 1996 5,928
Western Sahara War 1975 – 1991 13,000
Lebanese Civil War 1975 – 1990 144,000
Argentina: Civil War and Dirty War 1975 – 1983 20,000
Ethiopia vs Eritrea 1974 – 1991 98,927
Turko Cypriot War 1974 – 1974 5,000
Balochistan Insurgency 1973 – 1977 8,600
Chilean MIlitary Coup 1973 – 1973 2,095
Yom Kippur War 1973 – 1973 6,450
Hutu Rebellion 1972 – 1972 153,000
Philippines Govt vs Mindanao Guerilla 1971 – 2008 13,639
Sri Lanka Govt vs JVP 1971 – 1990 1,902
Bangladesh War 1971 – 1971 50,000
Philippine Government vs CPP Guerrilla 1969 – 2008 25,000
Northern Ireland, The Troubles 1969 – 1994 3,149
Israel vs Egypt 1969 – 1970 5,520
Football War Honduras vs El Salvador 1969 – 1969 2,107
Rhodesian Government vs ZANU,ZAPU,PF 1967 – 1979 27,080
Chinese Cultural Revolution 1967 – 1976 2,050,000
Cambodian Civil War 1967 – 1975 246,204
Nigerian Civil War 1967 – 1970 75,000
The Six Day War 1967 – 1967 10,047
Chad Civil War 1966 – 2010 37,233
Namibia vs South Africa 1966 – 1988 10,000
Guatemalan Civil War 1965 – 1995 88,575
Indonesian annexation of West Papua 1965 – 1978 2,100
Vietnam War 1965 – 1975 2,048,050
Second Kashmir War 1965 – 1965 5,000
Dominican Republic Coup 1965 – 1965 4,027
Colombia Govt vs Guerillas Farc and ELN 1964 – 2012 47,303
Mozambique War of Independence 1964 – 1975 13,500
Sudan Government vs Insurgents 1963 – 1972 10,000
First Rwanda Civil War 1963 – 1964 1,000
Guinea Bissau War of Independence 1962 – 1974 15,000
North Yemen Civil War 1962 – 1970 10,000
Algerian Civil War 1962 – 1963 1,500
Sino-Indian War 1962 – 1962 2,105
Angolan War of Independence 1961 – 1975 79,000
Laos Civil War 1960 – 1973 21,500
First Kurdish–Iraqi War 1960 – 1970 6,600
Congo Crisis 1960 – 1965 7,150
1959 Mosul uprising in Iraq 1959 – 1959 2,000
Second Taiwan Strait Crisis 1958 – 1958 1,500
First Lebanese War 1958 – 1958 1,400
PRRI and Permesta revolts in Indonesia 1957 – 1961 27,200
Cuban Revolution 1956 – 1959 1,000
Tibetan Uprising 1956 – 1959 12,000
Soviet Invasion of Hungary 1956 – 1956 3,171
Sinai War 1956 – 1956 2,142
Vietnam Civil War 1955 – 1964 164,923
Cameroon War of Independence 1955 – 1960 11,700
Algerian War of Independece 1954 – 1962 182,526
First Taiwan Strait Crisis 1954 – 1955 2,370
Moroccan War of Independence 1953 – 1956 3,000
Indonesian Govt vs Darul islam 1953 – 1953 2,700
Kenya, Mau-Mau vs UK 1952 – 1956 17,100
Tunisian war of Independence 1952 – 1954 3,000
Bolivian Revolution 1952 – 1952 1,000
Korean War 1950 – 1953 995,000
Third Sino-Tibetan War 1950 – 1950 4,000
Burmese Government vs Separatist Guerillas 1948 – 2012 49,243
Israel vs Palestine 1948 – 2012 16,697
Burmese Govt vs Communist Guerillas 1948 – 1988 17,700
La Violencia 1948 – 1958 29,800
Malayan Civil War 1948 – 1957 9,100
Arab-Israeli War 1948 – 1949 8,000
Cheju Rebellion in South Korea 1948 – 1949 17,000
Costa Rican Civil War 1948 – 1948 2,000
Yemeni Imamate War 1948 – 1948 5,000
First Kashmir War 1947 – 1949 3,200
Civil War in Mandatory Palestine 1947 – 1948 4,009
Telangana Rebellion and Indo-Hyderabad War 1947 – 1948 5,210
Madagascar Rebellion 1947 – 1948 12,200
Indian Partition Communal Violence 1947 – 1948 200,000
Taiwanese revolt 1947 – 1947 1,250
Paraguayan Gvt vs Rebels 1947 – 1947 1,000
Philippines, Huk rebels vs Govt 1946 – 1954 11,300
First Indochina War Comm. vs France 1945 – 1954 269,500
Soviet Union vs Baltic Partisans 1945 – 1951 32,400
Chinese Civil War 1945 – 1950 1,200,000
Ukrainian Revolts 1945 – 1947 59,700
Indonesian Independence 1945 – 1946 5,400
Greece Civil War 1944 – 1949 68,207
Franco-Thai War 1940 – 1941 1,400
World War II 1939 – 1945 50,000,000
The Winter War in Finland 1939 – 1940 151,798
The battle of Khalkhin Gol 1939 – 1939 28,000
Changkufeng Incident 1938 – 1938 1,726
Third Sino-Japanese War 1937 – 1941 1,000,000
Spanish Civil War 1936 – 1939 466,300
Arab revolt in Mandatory Palestine 1936 – 1939 2,576
Second British-Waziristan 1936 – 1939 10,200
Italo-Ethiopian War 1935 – 1936 20,000
Spanish Socialists vs Govt 1934 – 1934 1,335
Saudi-Yemeni War 1934 – 1934 2,100
Chaco War 1932 – 1935 92,661
Aprista Revolt in Peru 1932 – 1932 1,100
El Salvador, La Matanza 1932 – 1932 2,600
Brazilian Revolt 1932 – 1932 1,000
Xinjiang Muslim Revolt 1931 – 1934 21,000
Manchurian War 1931 – 1933 60,000
Communists vs Koumintang 1930 – 1935 500,000
Saya San Rebellion 1930 – 1932 1,140
The Yên Bái Uprising 1930 – 1931 1,000
Ikhwan Revolt 1929 – 1930 5,500
Kuomintang vs warlords 1929 – 1930 75,000
Escobar Rebellion 1929 – 1929 2,000
Sino-Soviet war 1929 – 1929 3,200
Second Afghan Anti-Reform War 1928 – 1929 15,000
Kuomintang vs Gansu Rebels 1928 – 1928 200,000
The Cristero War 1926 – 1929 10,000
Northern Expedition 1926 – 1928 126,500
Druze revolt 1925 – 1927 6,000
Third Chinese Warlord War 1925 – 1926 1,000
Afghan rebels vs govt 1924 – 1925 2,000
Honduras Coup 1924 – 1924 1,000
Second Chinese Warlord War 1922 – 1922 20,000
Soviet-Turkestan War 1921 – 1923 3,500
Moplah Riots in Kerala 1921 – 1922 2,450
Ireland freestaters vs Irregulars 1921 – 1922 4,000
Kronstadt Rebellion 1921 – 1921 2,600
Senussi Orden vs Italy 1920 – 1932 40,000
Third Rif War 1920 – 1926 70,000
Blackshirts vs Leftists 1920 – 1922 3,300
Conquest of Mongolia 1920 – 1921 4,000
Green Rebellion 1920 – 1921 6,700
Iraq vs UK 1920 – 1921 9,540
Franco-Syrian war 1920 – 1920 3,500
First Chinese Warlord War 1920 – 1920 35,000
Lithuanian-Polish War 1920 – 1920 1,000
Nejd-Hejaz Wars 1919 – 1925 4,000
Second Greco Turkish War 1919 – 1922 50,000
Turkish War of Independence 1919 – 1921 40,000
Hungary Civil War 1919 – 1920 1,500
Polish-Soviet War 1919 – 1920 100,000
First British-Waziristan War 1919 – 1920 2,000
Hungarian–Romanian War of 1919 1919 – 1919 11,000
Sparticist Rising 1919 – 1919 2,170
Third Anglo-Afghan War 1919 – 1919 2,136
Caco Revolt 1918 – 1920 2,102
Estonian Liberation War 1918 – 1920 11,750
Latvian Liberation 1918 – 1920 13,246
Finnish Civil War 1918 – 1918 15,150
Second Sino-Tibetan 1918 – 1918 1,500
Russian Revolution and Civil War 1917 – 1922 802,225
Russia-Turkestan 1916 – 1917 1,350
Southern China Revolt 1915 – 1918 1,000
World War I 1914 – 1918 10,670,868
Horrifying Total of lost lives due to war since 1914 = 76,671,289 Million Souls
PLEASE REBLOG THIS, AS WE NEED TO BRING MORE AWARENESS TO THIS MADNESS IN OUR WORLD!
Namaste with Love and in Peace
Always
Mark
Would you rather be know by others
Or know yourself?
Is money more important
Than freedom?
Is security sought more than service?
The greedy get the least
The stingy lose the most
The fearful fare the poorest.
The one willing to give all away for free
Only grows richer.
The one who gives his/her life to love
Has nothing to loose
Please give your love freely my dear friends
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
My Dear Friends,
Who am I?
You have often read these words within my posts, but as I work in the field of Psychology and Mindfulness I’m often trying to help people understand who they really are. Even I, after all these years of life must from time to time remind myself who I really am. I often reflect and go deep inside myself through meditations and connect to my inner self, to my very being, to my heart and to my soul in order to understand why I am; where I am; in my life.
You can’t see it with the ordinary eye
You can’t hear it with the ordinary ear
You can’t feel it with the ordinary touch
You can’t separate it from light or dark
You can’t approach it from ahead or behind
It’s like a pyramid of mirrors.
Everywhere you look
You see yourself.
Open the pyramid to see whats inside:
The reflection is you.
To define your life is futile;
Don’t get ahead of yourself
Don’t get behind yourself
Don’t compare yourself.
Just be you and enjoy what’s inside.
Consider this: In this present moment God chooses to be you.
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
My Dear Friends,
To give, receive.
Be the wet fertile valley
That rivers of life flow through.
The full will be emptied
The empty, filled.
So be the empty, that you may be filled.
The greatest healer shares all
And becomes yet greater.
One who wants to be healed
Must become a healer.
And one who wants to be a healer
Must first seek healing.
Suffering gains meaning only when healed
And healing is meaningless
Until it is shared.
To receive, give,
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
I came across this image today and felt the need to share it with you, I think it sums up my feeling that we as humanity are loosing sight of what is real due to the fog of social media and technology that run our lives today. We are sadly loosing the skills of face to face communication and our lives are measured by the social media rankings that we are given when we take part in online happiness, relationship and personality type tests that pigeon hole us into certain groups, no longer are we wise individuals with our own thoughts and aspirations, but slowly but surely becoming lemmings to the corporate powers that be!
Please remember your loved ones this weekend, give them a hug, tell them you love them and spend some quality time together out amongst nature without your phone or tablet device.
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
I was in my morning meditation today and I focussed my intentions on Love, love for myself, love for my family, love for my friends, love for my work, love for my colleagues, love for my clients, love for my spiritual gifts, love for my health, love for my compassion, love for my gratefulness, love for my life, love for Mother Earth, love for the environment, love for humanity, love for all beings, love for my ascended family members, love for my guides, love for the ascended masters, love for peace
Love is everything
All we need is love
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark
Loneliness: a silent plague that is hurting young people most
For young Britons, loneliness is an epidemic – and they are even more likely to fall victim to its insidious dangers than the elderly.
Loneliness has finally become a hot topic – last month, the Office for National Statistics found Britain to be the loneliness capital of Europe. We’re less likely to have strong friendships or know our neighbours than residents anywhere else in the EU, and a relatively high proportion of us have no one to rely on in a crisis. Meanwhile, earlier this year, research by Professor John Cacioppo at the University of Chicago found loneliness to be twice as bad for older people’s health as obesity and almost as great a cause of death as poverty.
But shocking as this is, such studies overlook the loneliness epidemic among younger adults. In 2010 the Mental Health Foundation found loneliness to be a greater concern among young people than the elderly. The 18 to 34-year-olds surveyed were more likely to feel lonely often, to worry about feeling alone and to feel depressed because of loneliness than the over-55s.
“Loneliness is a recognised problem among the elderly – there are day centres and charities to help them,” says Sam Challis, an information manager at the mental health charity Mind, “but when young people reach 21 they’re too old for youth services.” This is problematic because of the close relationship between loneliness and mental health – it is linked to increased stress, depression, paranoia, anxiety, addiction, cognitive decline and is a known factor in suicide. In a new essay, Paul Farmer, the chief executive of Mind, and Jenny Edwards, the chief executive of the Mental Health Foundation, say it can be both a cause and effect of mental health problems.
But what can young people do to combat loneliness? Dr Grant Blank, a survey research fellow at the Oxford Internet Institute, points out that social media and the internet can be a boon and a problem. They are beneficial when they enable us to communicate with distant loved ones, but not when they replace face-to-face contact. “People present an idealised version of themselves online and we expect to have social lives like those portrayed in the media,” says Challis. Comparing friends’ seemingly perfect lives with ours can lead us to withdraw socially.
While meditation techniques such as mindfulness and apps such as Headspace are trendy solutions frequently recommended for a range of mental health problems, they’re not necessarily helpful for loneliness, as they actively encourage us to dwell alone on our thoughts. “You’d be better off addressing the underlying causes of being lonely first – what’s stopping you going out and seeing people?” asks Challis.
Indeed, a study of social media at the University of Michigan last year found that while Facebook reduces life satisfaction, using technology to help you meet new people can be beneficial. And if for whatever reason you are unable to venture outside, the internet can bring solace. Mumsnet has been “an absolute godsend” for Maddy Matthews, 19, a student with a two-month-old daughter. Since the birth, she rarely sees her university friends and her partner works most evenings. “In the first few days, I was up late at night feeding her and I was worried I was doing something wrong. Being able to post on Mumsnet has helped me feel less alone”.
Helplines can also reduce loneliness, at least in the short term. One in four men who call the Samaritans mention loneliness or isolation, and Get Connected is a free confidential helpline for young people, where they can seek help with emotional and mental health issues often linked to loneliness. There are also support services on websites such as Mind’s that can remind you you’re not alone.
At work, it can be beneficial to tell your employer how you’re feeling. John Binns, a Mind trustee and former Deloitte partner who advises businesses on mental health and wellbeing, was admitted to hospital for stress-related depression in 2007 and took two months off work. He felt as if there was no one to talk to and wasn’t close enough with colleagues for them to notice change in his behaviour. Greater openness with his employer and colleagues made his return to work easier. “Often people find that colleagues are more supportive than they’d expected. Mine started to reach out, asking me to lunch and reassuring me that the world hadn’t moved on that much since I’d left.”
Office chitchat may seem like a waste of time, but it helps to cushion us from the emotional and psychological effects of work strain. “If you form connections with your team, you might be stressed, but not isolated,” says Rick Hughes, the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s (BACP) lead adviser for workplace.
“We treat the networks we have as incidental, but they’re fundamental to our wellbeing,” says Nicky Forsythe, a psychotherapist and the founder of Talk for Health, a social enterprise that trains people to give and receive peer support in groups. “The most important thing is to have a regular time and place to reflect on your life and to have an empathic listener.”
For developing personal skills such as empathy, counselling can help. “A problem aired is a problem shared and sometimes you need to talk to someone impartial and independent of your friends and family,” says Hughes. Most universities offer students such counselling and many run group sessions that specifically address loneliness.
If recent research is to be believed, loneliness is killing the elderly and, with an ageing population, we should aim to reduce our isolation before it is too late. “Getting older doesn’t have to mean getting lonelier,” says Ruth Sutherland, the chief executive of Relate, in a new report. “But much of this rests on laying the foundations to good-quality relationships earlier in life.”
Article written by Natalie Gil
The Guardian, Sunday 20 July 2014 16.00 BST
So What can we do to combat loneliness when it enters our lives?
This is a very important thing to remember, we don’t need to worry about what other people think about us, all that matters is what we think about ourselves!
We are driven to believe that all in the world is rosy, that money and things bring us happiness and if you are rich and famous your life is full of friends and therefore happiness, however reality tells us that this is simply not true! Happiness starts within, so please don’t fool yourself and keep looking outside for that miracle cure to your unhappiness, start by going inside, meditate and connect with your inner self, get to know and love yourself, be happy and grateful for what you are, who you are and what you have in your life right now. Once you have done this you will raise your own levels of self-esteem and energy automatically, you will feel better in your own skin and you will start living your life in happiness and that happiness will raise the happiness of others you come into contact with and their happiness will increase your happiness and the circle of life continues.
So; my dear friends, don’t allow loneliness to control your life, stand up to it, fight it off with all your strength, look at the little things in your life that bring a smile to your face and use those moments of joy to bring further joy to your heart.
If you would like any help, I’m always here for you, if you need someone to talk to, I’m always here for you. If you would like a chat via Skype, I’m always here for you and remember; we are never alone unless we allow ourselves to be alone!
Namaste with Love
Always
Mark